On adjusting reading habits, setting goals, and the 34 books I read in 2023

In 2023, my life changed a bunch — mostly — we had a baby! That meant that most of the year was spent preparing in all kinds of ways! Naturally, and delightfully, my reading habits had to adjust a lot this year. My reading life went from — Carry A Book With You Always — to:

• Sign up for the kindle version from the library, because it’s really hard to turn pages when holding a baby all the time.

• Don’t forget your reading glasses! Not getting any younger over here!

• Finding time to read that isn’t part of my work commute because I’m on parental leave

Each year, my goal is to read one book, because reading is a joy in my life and I never want it to become something I need to produce — just another number. This year, I met my goal! I loved reading, I never felt pressure, I read a lot of hard books that challenged my reading ability (something I wouldn’t be able to do if I hadn’t had a solid practice for a few years leading up to it). I was not a big reader in high school and when we read classics, I struggled hard. I see now much that had to do with me just not being ready for them. I needed to practice! Now I love the classics AND the challenge!

Let’s get to the list!

ALWAYS WANTED TO READ AND FINALLY GOT AROUND TO IT — LOVED THEM ALL

1. Go Tell it on the Mountain, James Baldwin (31 Jan 23) 

2. Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut (13 April 23) 

3. Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison (27 April 23) // I will be adding this to my re-read stack for sure! I can’t wait to read it again, it’s so good. 

4. And Then There We’re None, Agatha Christie (8 July 23)

5. In Cold Blood, Truman Capote (30 Dec 23) 

RE-READS
My rule used to be: If you keep a book, you re-read the book. Now with a teenage reader, I often keep books that I think Riley will want to eventually read, so I’ve gotten a little off course. But still, I’m a pretty big reader and only have three shelves of books. Do you have bookshelf full of books you’ve read and loved? Read them again! Over and over! You will see something new every time! I am convinced that being a regular re-reader makes me a better reader — I used to put so much pressure on myself reading a book, to pay attention to every single detail, to nearly memorize it, especially non-fiction books, but knowing I’ll likely grab it again frees me to just be in the moment and enjoy the book in my hands.

6. The Wisdom of No Escape, Pema Chodron (7 Feb 23) 

7. Why Buddhism is True, Robert Wright (10 March 23) // This was absolutely terrible, I have no idea why I liked this the first time and immediately donated it upon completion. Re-reading books is a great way to sort through why you are holding on to books AND why you should let go of some!

8. Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke (16 May 23) // I try to re-read this every year.

9. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion (28 July 23)

ABSOLUTELY INSUFFERABLE BUT I FINISHED IT ANYWAY

10. The Creative Act: A Way of Being, Rick Rubin (24 March 23)

WILL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE / MY COWORKERS AND FAMILY WOULD LOVE TO NEVER HEAR THE WORDS COGNITIVE DECLINE AGAIN 

11. From Strength to Strength, Arthur C. Brooks (28 June 23) 

HIGHLY RECOMMEND FOR VERY DIFFERENT REASONS 

12. Sing Your Name Out Loud, Jason Derulo (21 July 23) // Jason! A self-help book? OKAY! Loved it! 

13. Hijab Butch Blues, Lamya H (1 Aug 23) // This book is about the author’s rediscovery of her Muslim faith by coming out as queer — it’s so incredible it challenged me to accept lots of my own Christian faith I’ve set aside. This is a MUST READ especially for those who struggle with lining up your identity or values with your faith or a faith you previously held. 

A LITERAL DELIGHT / GO READ THESE IMMEDIATELY 

14. Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers, Jesse Q. Sutano (10 Aug 23) // Sutano’s chaos is always so delightful, but Vera Wong is the perfect character ever — you will forget she is fiction and want the book to go on forever.

15. Quietly Hostile, Samatha Irby (15 June 23)  // Read every single thing Sam does but MY GOD the Dave Matthews chapter. 

THIS WILL DESTROY YOU AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH — DESTROY ME!!!!! 

16. What Looks Like Bravery, Laurel Braitman (1 Oct 23) 

UNIMPRESSED / DO NOT RECOMMEND 

17. The Woman in Me, Britney Spears (29 Nov 23) // I heard that the audiobook is great! Don’t listen to me! Free Britney!

18. The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz (2 Dec 23) // This might actually be trash lol. I had to read sections twice to be sure that it said what I thought it said. Only finished it because I couldn’t believe how bad it was.

FROM MY DIDION PROJECT

19. Notes of a Native Son, James Baldwin (2 Jan 23) 

20. Wonderland, Joyce Carol Oates (8 Jan 23) // I loved loved loved this book even though it’s absolutely psychotic!

21. The Collected Poems of Wallace Stevens (24 Jan 23) 

22. Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway (15 Feb 23) // I read this cold, knowing no spoilers or anything, and loved it. The end had me in tears on a packed train, commuting home one day looking like an absolute maniac. 

23. Appointment in Samarra, John O’Hara (26 Feb 23)

24. The Good Soldier, Ford Madox Ford (5 May 23) 

Note: I’ve been working my way through Crime and Punishment for months, but I’m not finished yet, so it will have to be on next year’s list.

AND I ALSO READ THESE 

25. Goldenrod, Maggie Smith (8 Jan 23) 

26. Wintering, Katherine May (29 March 23)

27. Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age, Katherine May (15 March 23)

28. You Could Make This Place Beautiful, Maggie Smith (12 May 23)

29. Priestdaddy, Patricia Lockwood (13 Dec 23) // this book was great, but the font was so small, I had to switch to a kindle halfway through to finish it 

30. Our Greatest Gift: A meditation on dying and caring, Henri Nouwen (31 Oct 23) // Henri Nouwen is actually Our Greatest Gift 

31. Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss (11 Sept 23) // BRB gonna go be a hostage negotiator now! 

32. Novelist as a Vocation, Haruki Murakami (20 Sept 23) 

33. Full Tilt, Derva Murphy (15 Jan 23) // This book was so lovely and I have no idea how I happened upon it, but I never wanted it to end. Let’s ride our bikes from Ireland to India!

34. The Birth Partner, Penny Simkin (31 Oct 23) // Finished this just in time - Tully was born a week later! Surprise! 

Happy reading in 2024! I’d love to hear from you — leave a comment with book recommendations or the best book you read this year!