Trans Kids Belong In Sports Because Trans Kids Belong
When I was a kid, boys played sports, girls took dance. I danced with Miss Cindy’s Dance School for ten years. My brothers played hockey and baseball and soccer and golf and football. I quit dancing when I got too old for classes and would need to start competing. Competitive dance required getting changed backstage with the other dancers, and I absolutely wasn't going to do that. So I quit.
When Riley was little, I signed her up for all the sports to see what she liked. It ended up showing me more about what she didn't like. She quit ballet after one class. She cried at her first toddler soccer practice and walked off the field at the second one. She waited until after they handed out snacks, though. Smart kid. She quit her first swim class with such dramatic flair they gave us a full refund. What she really liked was doing things her own way.
We're not really the sports type. We prefer to play and move on our own terms. Just for fun.
Most kids who play sports play because they like it. Because sports are fun and teamwork is good for kids. They play for community and to be a part of something bigger. It keeps them out of trouble, it helps them make friends, they learn how to accept a challenge, and they learn how to lose. They learn how to practice and get better and how to focus and move. And they learn it all together.
"We have a tremendous body of literature that talks about the benefits of sports participation on confidence and character building, on competence, on coping; there's so much that sport can offer." -Wren Sanders for them.us
The argument in favor of banning trans kids from participating in sports is that trans kids have a biological advantage that makes including them unfair to the other teammates who do not have such an advantage. This argument drags us all into the weeds about advantage, privilege, and biology. There is no biological or hormonal standard for any athlete. There is no advantage standard for any athlete, either.
What about the kids who have access to personal trainers, private coaches, and extra training camps? And what about the trans kids who have access to puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapies?
Kids who have bodies that make testosterone are not automatically better at sports than kids who have bodies that make estrogen.
"For the past nine years, transgender athletes have been able to compete on teams at NCAA member collegiates and universities consistent with their gender identity like all other student-athletes with no disruption to women's collegiate sports." -Helen Carroll, coach and sports policy expert.
What's the worst case scenario?
Would it be the worst thing ever that a trans kid could join your kid's team and be better than your kid?
I would love for my kid to lose to a trans kid. She would too. She would be thrilled to give up her spot at the top to someone who had to work that much harder to get there. Because while this conversation centers around the unlikely biological advantage trans kids may have, it leaves out the great disadvantage trans kids still carry. They are more likely to drop out of school, to struggle with self harm and suicide, to get bullied and beat up, and to struggle to find their way. They are more likely to grow up without family support or access to affirming health care. And trans kids are far more likely to have a classmate's parent sue the state to keep them off the team in the first place.
It's time to change your mind, because times are changing.
In Pocket Peace, Allan Lokos points out that what we accept to be true or even factual often changes. He writes, "When truth and fact are in conflict, as they can be in important matters, I tend to side with truth because even relative truths are more stable than absolute facts, which seem to change on a daily basis with little or no warning. Is broccoli still good for us? I can't remember."
We know a lot about this kind of truth in our own social experience when looking at the issues of racism, class, and same-sex marriage. We got all of this very wrong in the past. In the case of same-sex marriage, what used to be taboo, is now widely accepted and celebrated.
People who declined to come to my first wedding just 15 years ago, would now happily accept an invitation to my second. While transgender people have been around forever, the drive for inclusion and rights for trans people feels brand new to many.
But trans people aren't going anywhere, and the younger generations have a lot to teach us with their wider view of gender and sexuality. We are moving toward inclusion, not away from it. And yes, I think we're still supposed to eat broccoli.
Trans kids playing sports deserve our support, compassion, and empathy not lawsuits, laws, and protests.
Do you want to be the person who stood against these kids like they're some kind of threat? Or do you want to be the parent who guided your kid into not only accepting trans teammates, but who was willing to step aside into second or third place so a trans kid could shine at first if it ever came to that?
Trans athletes belong in sports according to their gender identity. Because trans people belong.
Trans kids are magical brave kids who are willing to be themselves even though it requires a fight. That's everything a parent could ever want for their kid. Let's do our part to protect them, include them, and celebrate them. The game is always better when all the players are able to play.
Read more:
Yes, Trans People Belong In Sports
Four Myths about Trans Athletes, Debunked
A Doctor Explains Why Banning Trans People From Sports Is Wrong
